Socially Networked Out

I'm tired of walking through grocery stores or malls and seeing people with headphones on. Or walking through any public place and instead of having someone look into my beautiful blue eyes as they stroll  by me, their heads are bent down looking into their iPod/iPhone/iPad/iCrap device. (I only notice I'm irritated with these things after my own device has a drained battery due to my constantly using it.)

When I was younger I didn't have all these tech devices to occupy my time. My time was spent rollerblading through my neighborhood with cookies in my grubby little hands singing Ace of Base songs as obnoxiously as I could. (I was/am such a nerd.)

I get irritated when people use their phones in class (I respectfully keep mine face down on the table and only peek when the professor's back is turned) and in meetings (see previous parenthetical insert). 

I use twitter because it's mostly close friends on there, so I can rant/be myself a little bit more. 

I use Facebook to share pictures and see the latest news feed. It's pretty rare for me to actually go and check out profiles and see what people are up to. 

I use instagram to upload pictures to said twitter account. 

I use foursquare for fun. (It's a GAME! I get points! I get badges! I get discounts and FREE food!)

I use my iPhone CONSTANTLY (unless I'm at work, with the exception of documenting work activities.)

If I had an iPad, I'd use it to waste time. 

If I had a MacBook, I'd use it to waste time when my iPad was charging. 

It takes me twice as long to complete schoolwork due to my inability to untether myself. Any advice? And don't just say, "Put the damn phone down." It ain't that easy!

Attack of the Old Me

 In my previous blog I mentioned one of the medications I was on- Byetta. One of the benefits to this lovely injectable is it is supposed to curb ones appetite as well as force you to not crave sugar. 

I've been procrastinating. I was supposed to pick up the prescription last week and I never made it to the pharmacy to grab it. (Why do prescriptions have to be so dang expensive?!) I thought I had learned enough self-control and a little part of me wanted to see if I still needed the medication or if I could hack it on my own. 

Today I had my day all planned out- work, tutor, finish work at work, work meeting, and then home. It ended up being work, tutor, home, McDonalds, work meeting, and then home. I should have included prescription pick up in there. I think you see where my error is. 

Back when I was Old Me fast food was a regular part of my diet. Seriously, at least four times a week. Now I make it a point to not include fast food in my diet, but apparently tonight I tossed up the white flag and busted in there like a kid in a candy shop. My sister was taking her kids before the work meeting, and against my better judgement I decided to join them. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could walk in, perhaps order a drink, maybe a small fry, sit down, maybe draw some pictures...

I walked up to the counter knowing what I was going to order- small fry, small coke, and a Big Mac. (Just kidding about the Big Mac- I'm the worst pescatarian in the history of ever but I'm not THAT bad.) That is so not what I ordered! Perhaps it was the round, jolly face of the middle-aged woman taking my order, but it was as if another person inside me placed the order... Almost triple what the NEW Me would have ordered. (Old Me, I want to punch you in the mouth.) 

New Me waited in the car so Old Me could relish the meal. I ate it all. And my nephews bread from his burger. And my other nephews fries. And my sisters. It was like the recovering alcoholic who steps into a bar 14 months after they haven't had a drink and an hour later they stumble out, obliterated, and get into their cars with their infants asleep in the back. This had disaster written all over it before I even walked in. 

After I had finished inhaling everything in the surrounding area (no joke. I arm wrestled my nephew for a fry), my sister looked at me and said the smartest thing she could have possibly said, "I'm not going to judge you." She probably was judging me internally, and that's okay, because New Me was waiting in the car typing up an internal ass kicking anyway. 

How 'bout them 2012 resolutions?! ::sigh::

Oh, and before I left? I got a strawberry milkshake. Delicious!

#2012Resolutions

December 24, 2009 was one of the worst days I remember. That morning I had gone to my Endocrinologist to go over some test results. I knew the results were going to be bad, and I should have been prepared for them, but I wasn’t. My blood sugar had been an average of 250 for who knows how long (a normal persons average should be about 85 before a meal), and my doctor had finally decided that I wasn’t doing enough on my own to help myself. He was right. Because of my family history, I knew that I was high-risk, yet I still didn’t seem to care enough about myself to try and stop this from happening. Long story short, doc put me on 3 medications- metformin, Byetta, and insulin. Actually, I had been prescribed metformin since 2007, I just never wanted to take it. (This didn’t seem to bother the doctor I had previously; one of the reasons that I broke up with her.) All I knew about Byetta was that it usually made the user incredibly nauseous and often caused one to occasionally barf. I had always assumed that insulin was only for old people, but I guess it’s also for incredibly unhealthy young people.

After I cried for hours about my seemingly atrocious diagnosis, I did what any normal person would do. I met a good friend of mine at a bar. It took several tries for us to find a bar that was open on Christmas Eve, but we eventually succeeded. While I drowned my sorrows in Jack Daniels (Oops. Diabetics should stay away from liquor), he refused to take part in my pity party. Thus, the tradition of sitting with friends and writing resolutions together was born. He grabbed a dry bar napkin and we began to talk about things I could change to try and better myself. He then promised me that he would keep it and email it to me in sixth months so I could check on my progress. Six months came and went and I still had no resolutions email. He swore up and down that he had emailed it. (Two years later I was still asking for my napkin email. No dice.)

My resolutions that year were probably something similar to this:

1. Lose weight and exercise (who doesn’t have these as resolutions?!)

2. Bring my blood sugar levels down to that of a semi-normal person

3. Get out of debt

4. Finish lesson plans on time and stay up-to-date on grades

5. Eat healthy

2010 Recap

I religiously took my medication all year long. The first six months I didn’t change my eating habits at all (for shame) and didn’t exercise. Also, I never felt barf-y. Consequently, my blood sugars were still high and I wasn’t getting any healthier. I knew I needed more help, so I briefly consulted a psychologist. We touched on internal events that could possibly be subconsciously blocking me from helping myself. Going to see her became a game. She wasn’t helping me any and became increasingly frustrated in the answers I was giving to her questions.

Shrink: What are you feeling when you drive through a McDonalds?

Me: Bored. And anxious.

Shrink: Bored and anxious? What keeps you from going to the gym?

Me: Anxiety.

Shrink: How do you feel when you’re sitting at home watching TV?

Me: Bored.

Shrink: Really? You have to feel something other than boredom and anxiety!

I really had no other answers to give her. After a few sessions that went like this, she told me that it wasn’t really working out and perhaps we should see other people. This was my first breakup, and since her office smelled like my cat’s litter box after not cleaning it for a week, I was okay with it.

Shortly after that I bought a bicycle and began seeing a Nutritional Therapist. She helped me learn a lot about myself and how to listen to my body and unite my mind and body to search for a different kind of fullness- the kind of fullness that doesn’t necessarily come from a Big Mac and large fries (with a diet coke, of course). Between the bike riding and expensive therapy (insurance only covered the pee smelling shrink) I began to make incredible strides. The last six months I was able drop about 50 pounds and became a lover of bike riding, walking, gym sessions, Just Dance, Zumba, and anything else that got me moving and laughing. I never gave up any type of food I wanted; I just had everything in moderation. It’s true what they say: if you listen to your body and eat well, eventually you stop craving foods that aren’t as nutritionally beneficial to your body.

2011

The next year I saw with another good friend and we made a list of resolutions together. I was smart enough to keep my 2011 resolutions as an electronic hard copy, and they were as follows:

1. Think and be nice (it’s much easier to BE nice than to THINK nice)

2. Try something new every month (this was completed about half the time. I flew out of the state by myself, went to a bar by myself, took a bike ride by myself… apparently I needed to do more things by myself.)

3. Be active at least twice a week (Mostly successful. Perhaps I was aiming low.)

4. Enroll in a PhD program (Fail, but I did enroll in an EdS program. Minor success.)

5. Get out of credit card debt (Fail, but I’m halfway there.)

6. Eat more holistically (semi-fail)

7. Drink less soda (semi-fail. Only kicked in around the end of the year. Better late than never!)

8. Begin writing book – “A Battle of Epic Portions” (Doesn’t the book usually come before the title? And major fail. Haven’t gotten past the title.)

All in all, 2011 wrapped up to be a great year. I lost another 40 pounds by completely changing my lifestyle as far as eating and exercising. I was able to quit insulin and cut my Byetta in half. I moved over 200 miles away and completely stepped out of my comfort zone by ditching ALL my friends. I started teaching 4^th grade (I NEVER thought I would teach anything lower than 7^th grade) and I enjoy it. I start my EdS program (technically now it’s a non-degree seeking program, but that’s just a momentary technicality) on Wednesday. I enrolled in improv classes (talk about stepping out of your comfort zone!) and I’ve learned more than I wanted to know about myself by meeting a lot of new people.

2012

So, what I’m really getting at in this post is my 2012 resolution list. (How many times can I hash tag #2012Resolutions or #2012ResolutionsFail before it gets old?!) I was sitting at a little café on South Beach a few days before New Years with the same good friend from 2010. Again, we reached for a napkin and began to write resolutions:

1. Be active at LEAST 4 times a week (Hey! Doubled from last year!)

2. Pay off debt (not counting car/student loans. I am SO screwed!)

3. Blog weekly (Already a fail. I’m a few days late.)

4. Work no more than 50 hours a week and leave by 5:30 (Easier said than done… I like to make sure my work gets done. I never figured out how teachers only worked 40 hours and got all their work finished.)

5. Do not date unattractive men (Does this make me shallow? Maybe)

6. Go on at least two trips (another reason that makes #2 difficult)

7. Have at least 1 juice per day (I totes got a Jack LaLanne juicer for Christmas!)

8. Try one new activity/month

9. Go kayaking at least twice

10. No smoking – not even hookah (that will be hard. I love me some hookah!)

11. Complete at least five 5Ks

12. Keep restaurants to twice a week (already a fail, but I’m trying!)

13. Lose another 60 pounds

14. Attend at least 3 concerts/shows

15. Wash my face every night (I don’t know why this is so difficult for me)

16. Bike ride a total of 1,000 miles this year (so far I’m at 24.8. Hollah!)

I kept the napkin AND took a picture of it in case it gets lost.

This should be easy, right?